Marriage Minded Monday: Sharing Responsibility

A common complaint among today's couples is how the household responsibilities are divied out.
Many claim that they have too much responsibility - cleaning, cooking, budgeting, child rearing, etc. - while their spouse does little to help, if anything.

Shared responsibility in running a household is essential.
When one spouse bares too much responsibility, it becomes grueling, tedious, exhausting, and overwhelming.

In my own situation, the responsibilities are as follows:

My husband works outside the home, does all the yard work, does all the "fix it" chores, handles the budget, and helps with the dishes, the laundry, and the children when he gets home from work, and takes out the garbage.

I stay at home with the children, keep the house clean (most of the time), handle the meal planning, shopping, cooking, schedule, and calender, as well as keep up with dishes and clothes when he is at work.

The children also have chores of their own.

This is a plan that certainly works for us.
That being said, this might not be a viable distribution for your own family - find out what works for your family.

For example, a couple who both work outside the home may decide to divy up chores and child raising equally: the wife may plan meals, do dishes, and tuck the children in while the husband may take out the garbage, cook, and give the children their baths, or something similar.

The point it, it is important that every member of the household is involved with its running. It keeps the burden from being solely one person's, and it helps family members feel important and needed.

Today I'm linking up with Nan over at Mom's The Word for Making Your Home Sing Monday.

Go pay her a visit and see what you can do to make your home sing this week!

Marriage Minded Monday - When You Disagree

This week I got a lesson from God about speaking up when something was bothering me.

I also learned that (as I said on my facebook page) I don't give my husband near enough credit.

I think we all assume that our spouses will respond one way when we tell them we don't agree with them, but when it comes down to it, they may very well respond differently.

Case in point:

I won't go into detail, but there was a project my husband and I have been discussing that was about to come into fruition.

It was going to take a lot of time, energy, and money to do this. 

I have been worried about it - for a VERY long time - but I didn't want to say anything to my husband because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, nor did I want to squelch his dream. 

So when it was right about to happen, I snapped. I turned into a sobbing, blubbering mess. I knew exactly what was bothering me, but I was still so afraid to tell him the truth that I came up with every other thing I could be stressed over - including something that I've never mentioned, ever! EVERYTHING but the problem at hand. 

Finally, I told him. I was so worried that he would be hurt and that he would be angry. But instead, he told me he had the same concerns. 

So we had a long discussion on it and decided - TOGETHER - to put it off for a while until we're in a better place, financially.

As you can see, my assumption was very off course, and as a result ended up in my anxiety and stress. 

He had no idea - how could he? 

I'd never told him!

Your disagreement may come from a different place - you might be in arms over child-rearing, finances, where to live, career choices . . . 

Whatever it is, remember you DO have a voice. 

God tells us in 1 Peter 3:1 to submit to our husbands the way Christ submitted to God. But remember, that even Christ spoke up about his concerns to the Lord in Matthew 26:39 "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup be taken from me . . ." 

Yes, the bible tells us that we SHOULD submit fully to our husbands. And if mine had told me "I understand your concerns, but I really want to do this now rather than later" then we would have and that would have been the end of it. But the fact is, sometimes our husbands are waiting on US to speak up first because they're afraid of the same thing we are.

God's Blessings on you for a wonderful week!

Today I'm linking up with Nan from Mom's The Word for Making Your Home Sing Monday! 

Go give her a visit and see how YOU can make YOUR home sing today!

Marriage Minded Monday: Time Together

Do you spend time with your spouse? Let me rephrase that. Do you MAKE time to spend with your spouse?
Are you one of those couples that lead different lives and only sleep in the same bed (occasionally).

There are couples who have no choice but to be apart - one may be a soldier, or a driver, or work on a pipeline.
But what about those couples that live together all the time?

One of the fundamental foundations of a good relationship is getting to know your spouse. The only way to do that is by spending time together. Watch a movie together, read to each other, or just sit across the table from each other and talk.

You might find out something interesting about your spouse that you never knew before.

Don't think you have anything in common with your partner? Try a compromise - one night a week you do what one of you wants and one night do what the other wants. You might discover a new love of a hobby, a musical or film genre, or art.

For example, before my husband and I were married, you would not have caught me on a small manned watercraft. Especially one without sides and with the potential of going 30 mph + on a lake. Then he introduced me to our Hobie 16' Catamarand:

Isn't it beautiful??

Now, I CRAVE this boat. I LONG to ride for hours! 

And as for my husband, I brought to him a love of different exotic and healthy foods. His whole life had been fried, creamed, cheesed, and fat. I taught him to love quinoa and to TOLERATE (lol) asparagus.

Make some time today to spend with your spouse - just the two of you, together. You may find it makes all the difference in your relationship!

Today I'm linking up with my friend Nan's Making Your Home Sing Monday! 

Run to her blog (Mom's The Word) NOW and check it out!!

Making Your Home Sing Monday - The LOVE Edition

For more Making Your Home Sing Mondays, or to find out how you can participate, visit Nan over at Mom's the Word and link up!


Today is Valentine's day. Now this is one of my favorite days of the year. Maybe because of all the hearts and flowers (I'm a sucker for romance).
Maybe it's because of the fact that it's right after my birthday.
Eh, who am I kidding? It's all about the CHOCOLATE!


Just kidding (sort of).


My husband doesn't like Valentine's day. He thinks it's a marketing ploy. And yes, it is, but it's FUN!
I think he just wants all the chocolate to himself.


But this year, Valentine's day hasn't been as big a deal. It really hasn't been on the top of my agenda.
You see, I love my husband every day, and I try to show him that - every day.
A touch, a whisper, a soft kiss on the cheek, a word, a hug, encouragement . . . ALL these things are important on an every day basis.


Proverbs 31:12 says:
She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life


Now I know that they didn't have Valentine's Day in the time of Solomon, but this does NOT say "once a year" it says "ALL the days of her LIFE".


So, show your hubby some love!


Some of the fun ways to show your husband you love and appreciate him EVERY day:


♥ Get a bag of chocolate miniatures. Leave one on his pillow or in his car with a love note.
♥ Put some love songs on his MP3 player.
♥ Write a cheesy love poem on the bathroom mirror (with white-erase markers, of course)
♥ Hug him close, and whisper your devotion in his ear.
♥ Share a favorite bible verse or devotion with him.
♥ Massage his feet/shoulders/back.
♥ Get/make him a CD with some favorite songs from his childhood (if you know them) or some favorite songs of his now.
♥ Put the kids to bed early, and break out that fondue pot you've never used.
♥ Put the kids to bed early, and set the table with your nicest china, cook him his favorite meal and enjoy a candlelit dinner just for two.


For many of us, especially we Stay At Home Moms, our husbands work hard all day.
I hear so many women complaining about what their husband DOESN'T do -
they forget to be thankful for what their husband DOES do.
Remember, love is a two way street - you must give it in order to receive it.
And we must give it fully, wholly, and unconditionally.


Incidentally, for Valentine's Day this year The Hubbs is trying to find something non-food related to give me. He's trying to not be an enabler since I started Weight Watchers.
THAT in and of itself is an amazing Valentine's gift.
Of course, I DID remind him that sugar-free dark chocolate is a "power food" . . .


Have a blessed week!

Making Your Home Sing Monday When It's FROZEN!!

It's time for another Making Your Home Sing Monday! Want to know how you can join in the fun? Go visit Nan over at Mom's The Word and find out how!







If you missed this post  talking about our frozen tundra of a wasteland or this post with the pictures to prove it, let's just say things have been pretty slippery around here this past week. So much so, that it's been really REALLY hard to keep my home singing. So, I guess this post is kind of a "hind sight is 20-20" kind of post - all the things I SHOULD have done but didn't to prepare for the onslaught of what has become known as "Snowpocolypse 2011".

What To Do BEFORE "Snowpocolypse" Hits.

• Stock up on bottled water, and fill a couple of 5 gallon jugs for important things like dishwashing or toilet flushing.
• Make sure you have enough groceries for two weeks - INCLUDING milk, juice, and Goldfish Crackers. (Just in case)
• Sock up on paper plates and plastic utensils to avoid as much dishwashing as possible - cutsie animal ones are preferred by smaller ones.
• Make sure your kids are good on things like coats and gloves and galoshes (really spell check? THAT'S how you spell galoshes??).
• Stock up on things like craft supplies and puzzles - especially puzzles with pictures of things like princesses or talking cars.
• Remove the light bulbs from most of your light fixtures and unplug most electronics to avoid unnecessarily high price jumps in electricity.
• Stock up on taper candles to use so that you won't be tempted to replace said light bulbs.
• Stock up on batteries for all toys, cameras, and other battery operated things that you might need batteries for
• Hid the battery operated things that make a lot of loud, repetitive, annoying noise.
• Instruct family members on the proper noise level in a home with five people all stuck in the same place.
• Invest in extra duct tape to assist those having issues remembering proper noise levels.
• And finally, pray that we never live to see another SnowPocolypse again!!!

Hope you all got a good chuckle from my lack of foresight!! Love to everyone. Have blessed week!

Making Your Home Sing Monday - Becoming Self-Sufficient

It's time for another Making Your Home Sing Monday! After you read this, hop over to Mom's The Word to find out how you can tell others how you make YOUR home sing! Have a great week!



With the economy on the down-low and jobs becoming scarce, it's becoming more and more important for people to start trying to become self-sufficient - if for no other reason than out of necessity!

There are so many ways that one can do this, and though it may take some time and effort, it is so worth it in the end.

Let's face it, produce is one of the most expensive things to buy in the grocery store. Therefore, if you can, this spring try planting a little vegetable garden. Even just planting lettuce, tomato, and cucumbers will save hundreds of $$ over the summer. We plan on planting the above, plus potatoes, onions, zucchini, bell peppers, squash, and okra. We're also planing on planting a pear tree and maybe some strawberries. Our plot is so large, that we intend on making it a "community garden" by inviting friends and family to share in the work and the rewards!

Next on the list is meat. Now while for most of us it may not be practical to have a cow in the back yard or raise chickens, there are many places out there that will sell a whole side of beef for pennies on the dollar. While the initial cost may seem like a lot, the end savings is tremendous. And if you or a loved one hunts - even better! Venison is one of the leanest, most healthful meats out there! (note, to get rid of the "gamy" taste, try marinading it in milk for 8-12 hours!). And let's not forget wild pig, wild turkey, even rabbit! Again, the cost of having the meat processed may seem high, the overall savings can be huge!

Household cleaning products cost more than anything else in the grocery store. So, try making your own! I made my own laundry soap in August, and haven't bought any since. And we're JUST NOW halfway through the bucket. If THAT'S not money saving, I don't know what is! You can also make your own dishwasher soap (although, I will admit it does NOT work as well as the store-bought brand!!). As for regular household cleaning - I LOVE baking soda as a scrub and vinegar for all other jobs. CHEAP and THEY WORK.

What about clothes? Well, as the Duggars say "Buy used and save the difference". With the exception of myself (because it's very hard to find plus size clothes in a thrift store) the majority of my family's clothes have come from thrift shops. You can find some very nice gently used shirts, pants, skirts and tops for a fraction of what you would pay new!

As someone that will very soon be a college graduate, I am anticipating the dreaded loan repayments that face me. In order to pay these puppies off as quickly as possible, we are going to have to save money everywhere we can. These are just a few of the things that we're doing to do just that, I encourage you to follow suit and find your own ways to become self-sufficient!

Making Your Home Sing Monday! - Time Management

Alrighty kids, it's time for another edition of MAKING YOUR HOME SING MONDAY!


If you'd like to link up to Making Your Home Sing Monday or would like to know how to make YOUR home sing, visit Nan at Mom's The Word to find out more!

I am the world's worst procrastinator.
I always think : Oh, I have time. I don't have to do that now . . .
And then the inevitable happens:
A deadline for a 14 page paper on the intricacies of the British republic during the Tudor period in England;
A birth-control prescription runs out;
The fridge gets over full with food that is rotten and inedible;
The printer runs out of ink or the print head gets clogged;
The house gets messier . . .
Oh, the list could go on and on (and often does).

I am learning about time management, and am TRYING to work on it.
TRYING, I say.
But it's really hard.

I don't want to unload the dishes when I could be watching my husband play a video game.
I don't want to read an assignment when my three year old wants some "lovin's (yuvins)".
I don't want to mop the floor when I could be sitting on the computer writing a blog post.
I just don't want to.

But I am learning that time management isn't necessarily about getting all the "I-have-to-but-I-don't-want-to's" out of the way first. It's more about spreading your time equally and not getting bogged down. And it's also about figuring out what's more important.

For me, that priority list starts with my God, first and foremost. So, above everything, HE comes first.
Then comes my family.  They come before everything else, no questions.
Then school.
THEN the house.

It helps to have your priorities in order.

I am learning that it's okay if the house gets out of sorts when I'm in the middle of a research paper or a midterm.
I am learning that it's okay to put off doing the dishes for some quality time with my husband.
I am learning that the floor is STILL going to be there, even after I cuddle my kids.
So, I still need to learn to call and make doctor appointments . . . but I'll get there . . . eventually.

So . . .
What are your priorities?
How do you manage your time?

For more Making Your Home Sing Monday's don't forget to visit Mom's The Word!

Making Your Home Sing Monday - Back To School Mama's!

It's time for another Edition of Making Your Home Sing Monday!


We tell our kids all the time how important school is and how important an education is.
But do we show them?

Some of us already have degrees under our belts, and some are even using those degrees. This is such a great thing to show your kids! "I finished high school, and even finished college. Here's my degree. This is what my having one has done for our family . . ." Nothing like showing your kids that you're degree in _(insert subject here)__ has helped you provide for that PS3 or even the dinner on your table.

But what about those of us that don't have degrees, or don't use the ones we have (due to our well informed and very educated choices to be SAHM's - *DISCLAIMER*  I in no way think that NOT using your degree IS NOT A BAD THING!!!! In fact, I have personally made the choice to be a SAHM, and I love every second of it!!)

Kids learn good habits from us - picking up after themselves, using kind words instead of hateful ones, the list could go on. So why not teach them how important education is, by SHOWING them!

If you don't have a degree - consider getting one. I am living proof that it can be done! (Have I mentioned that I'm finally graduating in May??) If you think "I don't have time" or "I can't afford it", think again - there are degrees now that can be done 100% online or by correspondence, and there are grants, scholarships, and financial aid out there specifically for mom's returning to school!

If you have a degree, or don't want to go that route, consider a continuing education class at a local college or another type of class in something you enjoy. You can find classes in writing, art, pottery, sewing, dance, swimming, basically anything you might be interested in.

Another significant option is to read, research on the internet, go to the library. Show your kids that you never stop learning, and that it's important to continue to learn even after school is over!

As a mom that has trouble with a brooding 14 year old and school, I can say that my own educational journey has shown him the importance of "going through with it". I encourage you to show your children about how important it is to you as well!

For more Making Your Home Sing Mondays visit Mom's The Word and link up!
Blessings to you all!

Making Your Home Sing Monday - A Book Review!

Yea!! Nan is back! That means Making Your Home Sing Monday is back too! Please lift her up in your prayers, kids - she's hurt her back and is still in some pain. Praying for a quick recovery for you, friend!!

If you want to learn more about Making Your Home Sing or if you would like to join in the link-up, visit Nan over at Mom's The Word to find out more about it!

**********************************************************************************
I don't do a whole lot of book reviews. I don't do a whole lot of reviews, period. There's a reason for that - if I don't really REALLY like or believe in something, I am not going to tell anyone they need to "rush out and get it". Just not my thing.

But there's this book . . .
It's amazing.
It has changed the way I look at housecleaning.
The name of the book is:
Just Clean Enough
By. I.B. Caruso and Jenny Schroedel

The book doesn't preach at you.
It doesn't tell you you you're wrong.
It doesn't even tell you you have to do 50,000 things at once to "get organized".
It goes through 365 days - that's one year - worth of "tasks" that you can do to help get your home where you want it to be.
Here's the secret to this book - you DON'T have to do things in order.
You can go room by room, day by day, week by week.
OR
You can search through the book for a task that takes 5, 10, 15, 20, or 30+ minutes, depending on how much time you have.
OR
You can just pick something at random!

And the tasks aren't hard or time consuming. Most of them don't take any longer than 10 minutes.
Like decluttering bath products in the bathroom.
Or picking up all your shoes in your bedroom.
Or polishing your kitchen table.

Some of these are things I do frequently, but some are things I never thought about!
For example:
washing the shower curtain
decorating the laundry room
putting a bulletin board in the living room

There are some wonderful ideas in this book. And I am going to do most of them (we don't have a basement or a huge attic like some of my northern friends might have).
I encourage you to check this book out. It's not about perfection, but about getting your home Just Clean Enough!

Making Your Home Sing Monday! - A Picture of Health

Good Morning everyone, it's time for Making Your Home Sing Monday hosted by Mom's The Word!


Well it's that time of year. As soon as the seasons change, the illnesses come. Allergies, colds, flu . . . I am currently sporting one heck of a cold (I think) at the moment myself.  When you're sick it's hard to get everything done - all you want to do is sit on the couch with a book and a cup of tea, and it'd be nice if the house would magically get clean while you're at it.

But as we all know - MOM'S DON'T GET SICK DAYS.

So here are a few tips to keep yourself (and your family) well this season!

*Take a good multivitamin every day and take extra vitamin c. Vitamins and minerals are your body's natural defense system, and vitamin C packs the biggest whollop against cold and flu viruses.

*Eat lots of fresh vegetables and fruit. There's a reason why the FDA recommends 5-7 servings a day. God made our bodies to heal themselves, and He gave us good food to help us out with it.

*Drink lots of water. Good hydration has been shown to flush out "the bad stuff".

*Wash your hands. A lot. Every time you go to the bathroom, blow your nose, cough, eat, cook . . . this will prevent the little germies from getting into your system in the first place.

*If you have small children or are around elderly adults often, consider a flu shot. If you are not at risk, however, forgo it. If you have someone at risk around you, then the flu shot could save their lives. However, catching a "good bout" of the flu has been shown to reduce the risk of you catching it later in the season.

If you DO get sick, these tips will help you feel better quicker.

*Hydrate. For the same reasons as above. Add apple, orange, or cranberry juice however, because these all contain more amounts of vitamin c.

*Take it easy. Don't try to do too much. Take a day to lay on the couch and doze - have the hubs order take out for him and the kids. It really is  healing.

*Eat spicy food. Cayenne, jalapeños, chile peppers, and even black pepper are natural immune-boosting foods. Additionally, salsa contains tomatoes, onions, vinegar, and garlic - all of which have natural anti-viral properties. Plus the heat will help expel mucus (one of the most annoying parts of being sick).

*There's a reason why chicken soup works. Like spicy foods, chicken soup contains lots of anti-viral foods such as onions and celery. Plus, it's just comforting. Something we all need when we're sick.

*Immune boosters such as Airborne, Ester-C, and Zicam will ONLY work if you take them at the first sight of a cold, and even then, they may not work for everyone. So it's best to save your money and go the natural route!

Keeping yourself and your family well is an amazing way to help make your home sing!

Making Your Home Sing Monday - MORE money-saving!

Happy Labor Day everyone! It's time for another edition of
Making Your Home Sing Monday
Hosted by Nan at Mom's The Word

Be sure to pay her a visit and, if you blog, tell us what you do to make your home sing, then link up to her blog!

Last week, I talked about saving money with home made household laundry soap. Let me say, that I love my soap and I will never buy it in the store again.

This week, I want to share with you some more things that I've done to help my family save money on costly (and sometimes unsafe!!!) cleaning items.

Dishwasher Soap

I used the recipe on this web site to make my own dishwasher powder. According to the recipe, there is a possibility that there will be a residue on your dishes. Now, the recipe calls for citric acid to fix this problem, which I did not have, so I instead used a couple of vitamin c pills that I crushed up. This didn't prevent the residue, but I do have some citric acid on it's way, so I will be adding it to the mix when it gets here, and we'll see!

In the meantime, the soap cleans very well - in fact, it cleans better than my store brand gel. The downside is that it, like ALL powders and tabs in my dishwasher, can sometimes get stuck in the soap dispenser. But I think this is my dishwasher's problem, not the soap's. When this happens, I just close the door and run it again.

With the gels, I often have leftover food on the dishes, and some of it even ends up on glasses and cups in the top rack. This has not happened since I started using the homemade soap.

When it comes to rinsing agents, rather than using the expensive chemical ones found on the dishwashing aisle (you know - the electric blue stuff) - I use vinegar. It's cheaper, cleaner, and healthier to use (no chemicals)!

Scrub Cleaners


I never was big on using scrub cleaners, really. They were messy, smelly, and honestly didn't really work that well. But I did discover that a simple paste made with 4 parts baking soda to 1 part kosher salt and 2 parts water (less or more may be needed depending on weather and climate) works beautifully to clean up stuck-on messes on stove tops, sinks, counters, and even tables (I've used this on my Aunt's antique coffee table and it's worked beautifully). This also is all food grade and will harm neither the environment or humans or pets.

Spray Cleaners


I love spray cleaners - I use them for everything from floor messes to windows to . . . well, you name it. And some people will rave about ammonia or bleach in water to replace expensive cleaners. But for me, even ammonia and bleach are not safe enough to be around my children, so I make a solution of equal parts white vinegar and water in a spray bottle. I can give this and a rag to my kids and know they're safe with it as they go around the kitchen spraying and wiping. This also works wonderful on windows and mirrors - even better if you use newspaper to wipe it with!

Other Tips


-Instead of paper towels, use dish towels or microfiber rags. They work better, last longer, are re-usable and washable and use less waste!

-Instead of fabric softener, dunk a washrag in a solution of one part baking soda to three parts water and toss it in the dryer with your load.

-Make your own mixes for biscuits, skillet meals, spice mixes, rubs, and sauces.

-Make your lunch instead of buying it.

-Shop sales/clearances/and thrift stores.

-If you have a small load of dishes, try hand washing them instead of using the dishwasher

Saving your family money is one of the greatest ways to Make Your Home Sing.
Need recipes? Try Google or contact me here.