How I Became a SuperMom-In-Training . . .

I know this is going to be hard to take, but it has to be said.

Are you sitting down?

Okay good, now breathe . . . this might come as a shock . . .

I was not always the SuperMom!

Okay.

Now, once you get back into your chair we can continue.

Of course we know that NO one (with the exception of Jesus Christ Himself) is perfect. Perfection is impossible to attain, and really we shouldn't even attempt it. I am not, nor will I ever be perfect.

I'm not even 100% sure I qualify as a SuperMom to tell you the truth.

I was kinda thrown into SuperMotherHood. I'm not complaining, mind you. It was MY choice, and one that I wouldn't trade for the world.

When my husband and I met, we had both recently gotten out of really bad relationships. His ended in a divorce, and mine, while thankfully never even got to the marriage stage, ended up with me as an unwed mother at 28. With his two children and my one child, we were thrown into a family of five, literally overnight.

I had to learn real quick how to cook large meals on a tight budget. I also had to learn how to clean, do laundry, and run a household budget. Needless to say, it was VERY overwhelming.

Ronnie was working evening shifts, so that left me home alone in the evenings with a three year old to feed and put to bed. It wasn't hard, but it was lonely. I really didn't have much time with my husband in those first few months of us living together, especially since they were working a lot of overtime. The depression really set in at that time. I was not the only one suffering from it. My house, my child, and even, to some extent, my husband were experiencing my pain.

The weekends were even worse, because most weekends for the first six months, Ronnie had to work overtime on both Saturdays and Sundays. That would leave me with all the children to tend to by myself for meals and bed.

It was not a happy time for me, and my stress was taking its toll on the children.

Then I started to do something I hadn't done in a long time.

I prayed.

And God led me to a web site that would turn my life around.

(I talk about this site all the time - www.flylady.net )

The Fly Lady's web site really hit home with me.

I watched a Shiny Sink Video and cried.

The tears were cleansing and healing.

That day, I got up and I shined my sink.

Not one week later, my husband was informed that our prayers were answered - he was being moved to days.

While the overtime continued, things improved drastically in our home.

It wasn't long until we decided it was time to have a baby that was ours.

Of course, with pregnancy came hormones, and I'll admit the house really went to shambles again, but I became something. 

I became a mom that DID things.

I was involved with my daughter's pre-school, which was most important at the time.

Now, I am not only involved with my daughter's school activities, but we also have soccer, and my step-daughter has cheerleading this fall. My step son is coming to live with us and he will (possibly) have band activities to boot. 

On top of that, I will be finishing my bachelor's degree this fall.


I have jumped back on the Fly Lady's wagon of hope and my sink shines again. So do my counters, my toilet, and even my bedroom (after many years of it being a wreck - here are the results of THAT!)

But even with all this, I am unafraid.

Because I know that what I have learned from the Fly Lady is immeasurable. 

Marla Cilley has changed my life.

If you would like for her to change yours, first, go visit her web site:

www.flylady.net

Then go buy her book

Sink Reflections

I would not be the SuperMom I am without her!

God and Housework . . . ?

I went back to "Sink Reflections" last night, and read Marla's take on marriage. Then I read it again, to make sure I really understood the message. The jist of it is (what I get out of it anyway) is that we CAN do it all, we just have to stop thinking that everyone has to do "their fair share".  In other words - if it's not getting done, just do it yourself. I need to go back and re-read this message periodically.  I'm notorious for using the words "It's not MY mess" and "Well, if they're not going to clean, I'm not . . . ".  Of course, I've gotten much better about that over the past few months and realized that I can't EXPECT them to do it. No, it SHOULDN'T all be on my shoulders, but most days if I don't do it, it won't get done.

So, I need to take a deep breath and forget when DH forgets to take the trash out - just pack it up and take it myself.  And I need to forgive when DD doesn't clean her room - just grab a trash bag and get after it.  The point I'm trying to make is this - if you are a wife and mother, and especially if you are a stay at home mom, more falls on your shoulders.  That's just the way it is.

If you want to look at it from a biblical standpoint, Titus 2:4-5 says "Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." Proverbs 31 speaks of the Noble Wife throughout. Verse 13 says "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands". Proverbs 31:15 "She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." And verse 17 "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." And 27 "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." The point I am trying to make here is that we should be looking at it all as a blessing to our families and to God.

It is for God that we wash the dishes.  It is for God that we make the beds.  It is for God that we vacuum, mop, scrub, wipe, and plan. It is for God that we raise our children. If we go through our days with God in our hearts and minds, then the "details" about who's doing the work (us) is forgotten.

Cleaning Frenzy!

It's spring time again! We all know what that means, right? Taking down the drapes, cleaning out the closets, decluttering the kitchen. Right? Well, not for me. That's right, I have taken a vow to SPRING CLEAN NO MORE. Why? Well, first of all, let's face it, unless you are "B.O. (born organized)" it is NOT going to get done. And if it does? Well, it's not going to make much difference b/c by next week it's all going to be right back to where you started! So what's my point?

Rather than planning on doing it one weekend, a year, why not plan on doing it ALL THE TIME! Stay with me here . . . No, I'm not crazy.

If you've ever heard of Marla Cilley (a.k.a. the Fly Lady), then you know just what I'm talking about. She has devised her own system (taken from several different systems and mixed in with her own genius) that takes away the need for "spring cleaning".

It's all about the baby steps. What's a baby step you may ask? Well, a baby step is EXACTLY what it sounds like. Rather than jumping right in and cleaning your entire house from top to bottom, Marla has shown us how to do smaller chunks of things, one at a time. And it all begins with shining your sink. But that's just the beginning. For the fist 28 days, you have a new task to try. Everything from the ridiculous to the mundane. But by the end of it all, your home will look better than it has ever looked.

The secret? Don't do more than you can do in small chunks of time. Got 15 minutes? Do a declutter in one of your messiest rooms. Only got two? Put out a hot spot. Get the point?

One of the Fly Lady's mantras is "You can do ANYTHING in 15 minutes". How true this is. From cleaning a desk to scrubbing a bath tub. It might not be DONE in 15 minutes, but it will surly look better than it did before you started!

And DON'T try to shoot for perfection. WHY? Well, because frankly, it's pretty much unattainable. In her book "Sink Reflections", Marla tells us "We are imperfect beings and PRAISE GOD FOR OUR IMPERFECTION" (15). The only perfect being that ever walked the earth was Christ himself. Although as Christians we should strive to be Christ like, we cannot attain it - which is why He paid the ultimate price for us. Not to mention the fact that the need and desire for that perfection is what got our homes as messy as they got to begin with.

SO, if you have a home that is frankly, embarrassing, then DO something about it. One 15 minute segment at a time.

Incidentally, my own mantra combines the wisdom of the Fly Lady and the catchiness of Geico - "15 minutes now may save you an hour or more later". And it is so true.

So, go. Meet the Fly Lady at www.flylady.net. And while your at it, go pick up a copy of Sink Reflections. I promise you, she will change your life. She changed mine!