A rant... I'm usually good at those. Where's that soap box? You know, the one I'm usually standing on ranting and raving from? I can't find it either.
For some reason, give me the right to be really incredulous and I feel like I'm falling a bit short. Maybe it's just because I'm having such a hard time deciding what to post about. Maybe even though this is somewhat anonymous, I'm afraid someone will be mad. Oh well... here goes anyway.
It rubs me the wrong way that we chose to move closer to family last year. We'll be here for at least two years. While many people have visited, there is still an expectation that we should pack the kids up and go to them. It's hard. It's really, really hard. At one point this year, every weekend for nearly a month we spent on the road. Then we have to decide what we'll do for the dog. Do you rely on the kindness of a friend or spend a huge amount of money on a kennel risking that he'll get kennel cough when all we want to do is bring him with us? How will we get a three-year old to sleep when she doesn't have her cage bed? We're packing up 5 people, soon to be 6 not 2. Sometimes it takes major planning on my part to figure out how I will entertain the littles while we're gone. It's hard. Maybe it would be easier if some appreciation was expressed instead of just letting us know what you expect of us.
If you don't know us, we're in the middle of an international adoption. I love for people to talk to me about it if they're curious. I'll discuss orphan care and adoption all day long. I start to get a little bothered though when someone needs to repeatedly in large groups let me know what a poor decision I've made. I've been told exactly how many things can go wrong by the same person over and over. We're well informed. We're a little bit scared. We're stepping out in faith. How about a little encouragement instead of all doom and gloom? I promise I've heard every horror story by now. Telling me another one, with that little hint of I'm going to say "I told you so," one day just really ticks me off.
I was putting it all out there on my blog for a while. I stopped. I was told by someone close to me (not Miss Doom and Gloom), who I really hope doesn't find this because I never want to have that conversation again, that I'm neglecting the children I have for the one who isn't here. Really? Because I got upset that it's taking so much longer than it takes other people? How come when someone who is pregnant starts planning a nursery no one says, "I really think you're neglecting the child you have because you're frustrated over color schemes." I'm frustrated that I let that stop me from saying what I wanted to say.
While I'm getting the adoption process off my chest, I'm also a little hurt that people who are very close to us and will be to our child choose to pretend that it's not happening. It makes me wonder what they will be like when he comes home.
Moving on...I hate the pretentiousness of where we live. I probably hate that we put ourselves in this pretentious place a little more. I hate that I jump to conclusions and judge others because of all this. I really don't know how to flesh it out anymore than that.
In conclusion, like my dog... some days when I'm frustrated... I wish I could just piss on it.
Kind of like he pissed on the snowman...
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