Resentment . . .

One thing that I have realized about myself is my tendency to hold grudges and to be resentful to people.

I could list names, but as this is the internet, I don't want to air my "dirty laundry".

But I've also realized that these resentments are unhealthy for my relationships.

We become resentful for many reasons.

Perhaps our husbands have wronged us in some way.

Maybe we have a child with special needs.

Perhaps a psycho-ex that's hovering in your life for one reason or another.

Maybe we were abused by someone we cared about and trusted.

Whatever the reason for our resentment, it's important for us to learn to let it go.

The bible tells us in Hebrews 12:14-15:

"Follow peace with all men and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord; looking diligently lest any man fall from the Grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby made defiled" (KJV)

Letting go of our bitterness and our resentments will bring us closer to God.

We cannot possibly fill ourselves with the beautiful light and love of God if we are filled with the ugly darkness of hatred.

This fact is something that I struggle with daily.

Jesus tells us that we we are wronged we should 

"turn the other cheek" 

(Matthew 5:39)

 and that we should forgive others 

"seventy times seven" 

times over 

(Matthew 18:22). 

And he also tells us to

 "love one another as I have loved you" 

(John 13:34).

It's hard to let go.

It's hard to forgive.

It's hard to forget.

But there is one thing to think about when we feel the ugly green bitterness rising up within us to consume our hearts:

Jesus loved us so much that he died for us.

God loves us so much that he will forgive ANY sin of us.

Now I know, we're not Christ. And we're not God. But it's good to remember these things as we struggle so that we can remember just how insignificant our "issues" are in the larger scheme of things. 

One day, not one iota of these problems will remain.

They won't matter. 

They won't even exist.

If God can forgive us our sins,

Shouldn't we take a moment to try to forgive others?

Blessings,

He's Alive!

Easter Story.
Adapted from Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24 and John 20-21.
© Copyright Jennifer June DeMoss, 2011

Mary, still aching from the loss of her friend, went to the tomb with some other women to anoint Jesus' body. It was a custom then to do so, and to pray over it and wrap it. As they walked to the simple hole in the side of the mountain they were all surprised to see the stone that had covered it to keep the animals and bugs out had been removed. Mary was a little petered at this - it was a sign of disrespect to leave a tomb unopened. She saw the gardener standing with his back turned, so she walked up to him, with the full intent of griping at him for such a mistake.

"Why is this tomb open?" She demanded. She then turned to look inside to check on Jesus' body, but it was empty. Angry and upset she returned outside to find her companions staring in awe at something behind her. She turned and shock filled her body. There, atop the stone, sat a man all in white. He was smiling joyously and had an ethereal glow about him. "Why are you looking for someone that's not there! Jesus isn't in that tomb, HE HAS RISEN!"

Mary and the others turned to return to the base camp. Faster than she, the other women went ahead. Mary weakened and collapsed to the ground, sobbing.
"Woman," sad a voice with a familiar kindness and love, "Why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?"

Mary looked up and her heart soared with joy and love as she saw the man standing before her. How was it possible? Through some wonderful miracle of the Lord, Jesus was standing right in front of her. He gently touched her cheek, and wiped away the tears that were streaming down her face in rivers. "Mary . . ." he whispered.

"Rabboni . . ." Mary managed to choke out.

"Mary, let me go. I still have to return to the Father. Go tell our brothers that you have seen me and that I am returning to God."

Mary kissed the ground at his feet. She didn't want to leave, she wanted to hold on for dear life. But she knew that He was right. She turned to return to the inn where they were staying.

"I have seen Him," She said breathlessly as she ran into the meeting room. "He's alive. He's risen again!" The men stared at her - she obviously had had a little too much wine.

"Who are you talking about, Mary?" Peter asked.

"Jesus!!"

Then men all stared at her, mouths open. Thomas' face betrayed his thoughts - he thought she was a loon.
But Peter got up, placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Mary, are you sure?" Mary nodded. Without hesitating, Peter ran out the door.

Thomas got tired of waiting, and left the room. A while later,Peter returned, holding some of the burial cloth in his hand. "He wasn't there . . ." he said, sadly. "He just . . . wasn't there."

Then a voice sudden said, "Peace be with you!" The room fell silent. All eyes were on the man that had just appeared in the room. "The father has sent me, now I am sending you." He touched each of their heads and breathed on them. "Receive the Holy Spirit. Forgive others of their sins" he commanded. Then he left.

Soon after, Thomas returned. They told him what had happened. He thought everyone must have gotten into whatever wine Mary'd been drinking.  "Unless he appears to me right now and shows me the marks in his hands and the wound in his side, I will not believe it."

A week later, the men were sitting down to dinner. Then, as before, a familiar voice said, "Peace be with you!" He looked at Thomas. "Hello Thomas." Thomas could barely stammer out a "hello". "Here," Jesus said. "Touch the wounds. Put your fingers here, in the hole. Here, put your hand in my side." He took Thomas' head in his hands and turned it up to face him. "Stop doubting, Thomas. BELIEVE."

Thomas wrapped his arms around his friend in a sobbing embrace. He was embarrassed to have doubted the truth. "My Lord and my God" he exclaimed.

Jesus stayed with the men for some time, teaching them how to run the church now that he was no longer going to be able to. He told them to go and tell the world what they had witnessed. Then, one day, he turned to them all. He blessed them. And then the men witnessed Jesus being taken into heaven by the Lord.

"His return is very soon, and so you better be believin' that our God is an AWESOME God . . ."
- Rich Mullins

Witnessing . . . And Me

I am a terrible witness.
I just had to get that out first thing.


I don't minister to ANYONE face to face.
I may say something on my blog or facebook or twitter.
But never directly TO anyone, and NEVER face to face.
Maybe I'm scared of losing their friendship?
(I have many non-Christian friends)
Maybe I'm scared of being judged?
Whatever the reason, I know it's attributed to fear.


What kind of friend doesn't share the love of her Christ with those she cares about?


The Lord commands us to in Matthew 28:19-20:


"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."


How displeasing is it to God that I don't - that I CAN'T - bring myself to do this?


Yesterday I read this devotion from Proverbs 31 Ministries. It talks about these feelings of self-doubt and fear. Doubting myself is, essentially, doubting what God can do for me. 
It led me to make a commitment to myself and to my God to be a better Christian and to be a better minister.


Christ has led us ALL into His ministry, and calls for each of us to do so.


But in order to do this, I have to "check myself" first.


I have to release my fear and self-doubt.
Some people don't like Christians filled with Fire.
I have to be willing to take that risk and remember that teaching other's about Christ is right, and good, and pleasing to God.


I also have to stop whining and complaining so much in my life.
How can I tell others about the love of Christ and the Peace and the Joy He brings, when I'm complaining all the time?
God wants us to find comfort in Him at all times.


I also need to watch my actions and what I say.
Gossip is hurtful to others. Harsh words are hurtful to others. Raised voices are hurtful to others.
God wants us to be kind, and tolerant, and loving.


So there you have it.
It's going to be hard for me.
really. really. hard.
Please pray for me.


Have a blessed day!

Be Blessed

One of my biggest downfalls is that I try to do everything myself. And I do mean everything. From cooking to cleaning to child rearing to school (I finish my BA in May). It is VERY rare that I ever ask for help or that I even ACCEPT help. This kind of irritates some of the most important people in my life - namely my husband. So it is something that I've been working on. When we try to do it all ourselves, this can be harmful to us in so many ways. We get stressed, we get exhausted, we get depressed, and often these things make us sick - literally - with an array of different physical problems.  Sometimes it's important to ask for help.


As it is in our earthly lives, so it applies in our spiritual lives. I personally  find it hard to stop and ask God for help, and then ALLOW him to help. As a result, I am not ALLOWING his blessings to flow. Because of this, I am stressed, exhausted, depressed, and have been sick - both in the physical and the spiritual sense.


Yesterday, God gave me another one of His "kicks in the butt" as I like to call them. I wasn't allowing Him to take control, so He forced it upon me in a blessing that I did not expect. At first I was angry - why did this person do this when I didn't even ask for or need the help. Then, I prayed about it. And I realized that God touched this person's heart on my behalf. He told them that I needed something. They rose up and answered the call, and I am so glad they did. 


It has taught me that I need to allow God to take control in my life and I need to ALLOW the BLESSINGS to happen instead of trying to take control myself. I need to stop and ASK for help. As my anonymous (to you all) person told me in a message "The opposite of pride is the virtue humility - and we grow when we humble ourselves to ask for help. So, know that we would never judge you . . . but would be more than willing to answer the call."  This touched me in a way that I never imagined. You see, this person - who has been a blessing in my life for more years than I care to mention - never fails to send me just the right message when I need it. God has a way of getting to me through them.


God loves it when we stop and say "I can't do this". Maybe He's a bit of a control freak, in fact. But I, for one, am so glad he is. Because only when we stop and say "I need you, Lord" can our relationships with him grow.


God's blessings to each of you!  

Sunday Scripture . . . The Book of Isaiah

For the last couple of days, I have been reading Isaiah in my daily bible reading. I know that many people think that with it being the Christmas season, I might want to be in John, or Mark or Luke, reading about Elizabeth and Mary and the angels that spoke to them. But no, Isaiah is really the place to be.

There is no other book in the Old Testament that has as many prophecies about the coming of the Christ child than Isaiah:

7:14 (NIV) Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.

9:1(NIV) Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the Gentiles, by the way of the sea, along the Jordan

9:6 (NIV) For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

53:5 (NIV) But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. 

53:9 (NIV) He was assigned a grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death, though he had done no violence, nor was any deceit in his mouth.

53:12 (NIV) Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. For he bore the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

These are just a few of the dozens of prophecies about Christ in Isaiah. Why is this important?

Through Isaiah (and other prophets), God was preparing the Way for Salvation. God realized that humankind was incapable of salvation on their own, so he made the choice to intercede on our behalf. God came to earth, first as a child, then as a man, with the sole purpose of sacrificing himself for the good of all man. 

How much must he love us to do this? I am so humbled to think about it. 

I encourage anyone that reads this blog today to peek into the book of Isaiah and see what I'm talking about. Throughout the book, Isaiah is admonishing the Israelites, but in the midst of the scolding there is a message of love, hope, and salvation.

Happy Sunday, everyone.

God bless you all!

Wordless Wednesday

For more Wordless Wednesdays visit 5 Minutes for Mom or Marvelous Mommy

Looking for Magic . . .

I love taking my camera with me everywhere. 

Sometimes, there's no telling what you might find peeking out at you from around a corner or hiding amongst the trees. 

I can't say photography is my entire life, rather more of a hobby that I hope to make some extra money at some day. 

But the thing about photography is that it has opened my eyes to a whole new world - a world of God's majesty and wonder. 

A world filled with the magic of our Father and all he has created for us.  

Today I would like to share some of that magic with you:

Peace in the Woods

 

A Memorable Afternoon

A Child's Laughter

A Serene Moment

And a Child's Wonder

Each of these things come from God. Gifts to us to show his mercy and love. Today, I challenge you to find some of God's magic for yourself. It might be a raindrop, a rainbow, a hug, a smile, or a beautiful sunset.

Matthew 7:7 says " . . .Seek and ye shall find . . . " 

Why not give it a shot?

Making Your Home Sing Monday!

Making Your Home Sing Monday:
This is something new for me, but to learn more about it, go to MomsTheWord
I am a day late this week.


What better way to make your home sing then by SINGING!


The Bible tells us to "It is good to give thanks to the Lord, to sing praises to your name, O Most High" Psalm 92:1.  In fact, throughout the book of Psalms, David talks about praising God with music throughout.


God loves to hear us proclaim his name in song.  It doesn't matter weather or not you think you can sing, it is all pleasing to God.  


So as you go about your daily chores today, try singing a song that you love that reminds you of your relationship with God.  Remember everything we do we do in His name, even housework. He sees what we do every day for our families, and it makes him happy to see us diligently working to make our homes a better place.

Perfection-Free Zone (1 Corinthians 13:10)

1 Corinthians 13:10 " . . . but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears . . ."

I used to get so frustrated when I looked at my home.  It was filthy.  It was worse than filthy in some respects. Cluttered, dirty, ugly.  When I'd clean, I'd be exhausted within fifteen minutes.  Why?  Not because of the mess, but because I was striving for something unattainable - perfection.  There was only one perfect being that ever walked the earth, and frankly, I'm not Him.

It took a while for me to see the problem with perfection.  It made me crazy.  I would clean, and turn around and it would be imperfect again.  I would throw my hands up and yell "what's the point?".  I fussed at my children, my spouse, myself.  I was miserable and so was everyone around me.  It was not until I finally realized that perfection wasn't going to happen that I was able to let go of this mindset.

I look around now at my imperfect home.  My floors are currently not vacuumed, swept, or mopped ( I will get to that later this week) but the floors are picked up and free from clutter.  My sink (due to a broken dishwasher) is currently filled with dirty dishes.  But my stove top, my counters, and even my appliances are clean. I have dirt behind the refrigerator, under the couch, behind the toilet.  But you can't see it.  It drives me crazy, to a point, to know that these imperfections are there, but then I think about my own imperfections in my sinful, human nature.

God doesn't seek perfection in us, why should we seek it in our own lives?  I am not perfect.  I am a sinner.  I try to do God's will, but sometimes it eludes me.  I forget to read my bible one day, I skip church services to sleep in, I yell at my children, I even say a choice word or two to idiots in my child's school car line.  God loves me anyway. So, I have to look at my home imperfections in the same way God looks at mine.  They're there, but forgivable. They exist, but they don't change the heart of my home.

I have deemed my home perfection-free.  I no longer seek perfection, but rather I seek "good enough".  If I'm good enough for God, with all of my imperfections, then my home should be good enough for me with all of its imperfections.

God and Housework . . . ?

I went back to "Sink Reflections" last night, and read Marla's take on marriage. Then I read it again, to make sure I really understood the message. The jist of it is (what I get out of it anyway) is that we CAN do it all, we just have to stop thinking that everyone has to do "their fair share".  In other words - if it's not getting done, just do it yourself. I need to go back and re-read this message periodically.  I'm notorious for using the words "It's not MY mess" and "Well, if they're not going to clean, I'm not . . . ".  Of course, I've gotten much better about that over the past few months and realized that I can't EXPECT them to do it. No, it SHOULDN'T all be on my shoulders, but most days if I don't do it, it won't get done.

So, I need to take a deep breath and forget when DH forgets to take the trash out - just pack it up and take it myself.  And I need to forgive when DD doesn't clean her room - just grab a trash bag and get after it.  The point I'm trying to make is this - if you are a wife and mother, and especially if you are a stay at home mom, more falls on your shoulders.  That's just the way it is.

If you want to look at it from a biblical standpoint, Titus 2:4-5 says "Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." Proverbs 31 speaks of the Noble Wife throughout. Verse 13 says "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands". Proverbs 31:15 "She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." And verse 17 "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." And 27 "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." The point I am trying to make here is that we should be looking at it all as a blessing to our families and to God.

It is for God that we wash the dishes.  It is for God that we make the beds.  It is for God that we vacuum, mop, scrub, wipe, and plan. It is for God that we raise our children. If we go through our days with God in our hearts and minds, then the "details" about who's doing the work (us) is forgotten.

I hate daylight savings time . . .

Why, why, WHY do we have this tortorous tradition instilled as an international "have to"? Why can't we just let God do what He does best? Now, I'm all messed up, my kids are all messed up, my husband is all messed up, I'm sure my fish are all messed up . . . and why? So that we can have a few extra hours of daylight? And the thing is, now when it's bed time the kids don't believe it because it's still light outside! "Momma, it's not bedtime - see? Mr. Sun still wants to play with me!" Uuugh . . . It's going to be hard to get them up this morning.

God is so good!

Well after this heck of a week, we get a phone call from our landlord telling us that she has a plumber coming out RIGHT THEN. We rush out to meet them at our house. The plumber (Keith's Plumbing from Nocona, to give him a plug) found where the pipeline went, did a little digging, and found out that we have another (hidden) cleanout close to the house. He runs his rooter through, and pulls out a wad of roots the size of my arm!!

With our pipes clear, we run out to check the mail.

Ronnie has recieved a check for an overpayment of child support - $152 worth!!

THEN I notice ANOTHER check in the mail - for me, from my OB/GYN - this was from a credit I had from Jake's birth.

It was, get this, $1094!!!!

ALL our prayers have been answered!!!

We will be able to 1) Pay off all our bills, 2) go to TRF with room to breathe, and 3) have enough left over to put up in savings for the next unforseen emergency.

He is SOO GOOD!!!

Being Thankful . . .

Have you ever spent a single day of your life not being able to take a shower, wash dishes or clothes, or even go to the bathroom or brush your teeth?

We are so there.

Our sewer is messed up. REALLY messed up.

I am looking at this and saying, Okay God, what are you trying to teach me THIS week . . . then it hit me. THANKFULNESS. I have been so set on the things that I DON'T have lately that I forgot to take a step back and remember the things I DO have.

For example, Ronnie's company went to three day work weeks. He was offered a position that will give him a larger salary during this time. That, and the partial unemployment check he will be getting, puts us back where we need to be in order to pay our bills and stay on track. THEN, the ENTIRE plant went to a two week furlow (temp layoff) EXCEPT his section and one other. If that's not God, I don't know what it.

And yet, instead of being thankful for what God has granted us, I have been whiney about "oh, we don't have a second car" or "oh we only have one bathroom" or something else silly and insignificant.

So now, instead of ONE bathroom, we have NO bathroom.

God is chastizing me . . . And you know what? I'm THANKFUL for it. See out of this, I have learned a very valuable lesson. Life is not about the HAVE-NOT's. It's about seeing the little things God gives us on a daily basis, and counting those blessings. It's about saying thank you every once in a while for that little butterfly or that shooting star . . .

I am looking at what we're going through right now, with the job situation and the sewar situation, and seeing it in a whole new light. Now, I am THANKFUL because Ronnie and I are going through this TOGETHER - as a team. I have the man I love beside me, loving me and supporting me through it all. I have him to hold on to in the midst of a nervous breakdown (of which I have had at lest three this week). I am also thankful because we have God on our side. And like my husband, I have Him to lean on and talk to.

So, as I stare at the unflushable toilet today and pack our bags to stay at my mother's until we have a usable bathroom, I am still THANKFUL.