Thursday, January 6, 2011

Oh the Sneaky Things We Do . . .

I am a sneaky parent.
I've been known to redirect my children to an alternative truth or two.
I've been known to hide things (chocolate) that I don't want them to get into.
I've been known to spell, sign, whisper, and lip-sync to my husband behind my children's backs.
I've even texted my husband in front of our kids to say what I needed to without them hearing.
Oh, yes, I am sneaky.

I've heard stories of other sneaky parents - one mother I know, for example - hides her chocolate in the top shelf of the china cabinet. Then she sneaks it during nap time. Sneaky, huh?

Another mother has actually hidden her children's Christmas gifts under their own eyes - there was a cubby-hole in the top of their closet that she put all the gifts in. And they never knew it.

And I have to confess that I've gone into my children's rooms when they're not at home to snoop - making sure everything gets put exactly where I found it, of course.

Does it make us bad parents to be so sneaky?
Does it make us dishonest, or deceitful?
Does it mean that we don't trust our children?

No to all the above.
I am sneaky because I LOVE my children.
(okay so hiding the chocolate is for purely selfish reasons, I admit)

I don't say things to their face if I think it will hurt their feelings (such as planning a date night with my husband to a place the kids love to go).
I don't tell them WHY we can't get that $40 Barbie doll that everyone wants (I really don't think my kids need to know what my bank account balance is).
I snoop to make sure they're not doing something potentially harmful to themselves or others (it is not only my right, but my DUTY as a parent).

Yes. I'm sneaky. Very, very sneaky. And I'm proud of it.


Kmama said...

I'm sneaky too. It's in my nature. I doubt that'll change as my kids get older!

sexy grandma said...

When you were a teenager you did not appreciate me being sneaky, now I know that you learned from the best! and now understand that knowing what your children are doing is so important in todays lifestyle. Know then you can handle. Even if you make mistakes in the handling at least you are making an effort and that is what will count in 20 years when they are dealing with their own families.

Michelle Saunderson said...

Kids should not be privy to all that adults discuss/encounter, so yes you have to be sneaky somewhat.

Teri said...

I think Sneakiness comes hand in hand with parenting. To be a Parent is to be Sneaky. :)
And as the kids get older and get to be teens, Sneakiness is a necessity. Most kids aren't going to come out and tell you when they are experimenting with sex or drugs. We have to be proactive, and stay aware of where and what our children are doing at all times.

Big Fat Mama said...

I know my mom sneaked around my room when I was a teenager. Looking back now, I actually don't mind!

Gaspegirl said...

Oooohhh, you sneaky mommy... I am too ;P My Mom was sneaky too and I used to write things in my diary that I wanted her to know but I did not know how to tell her. I think that my oldest daughter knows that I snoop now and she will thank me when she is older.

Visiting from SITS, make it a great day!

Anonymous said...

Oh, we're calling it sneaky? It's just plan parenting in my neck of the woods. I have random "phone checks" with my teens. They hand me the phone without knowing when I'll ask and I go through call logs and texts. And don't get me started on how I have passwords to Facebook and Myspace. What I've found is that (1) my teens expect me to check them cause it's how I parent and (2)I parent that way cause I'm crazy and protective.

Kim @ This Belle Rocks said...

I agree...and as long as MY children live under MY roof, I will go through whatever of theirs I want on a regular basis. I am legally responsible for anything they do until they are on their own, so yeah...I snoop!

I have been known to hide when I am going someplace I know the kids like, but I finally broke down and had to explain to them about the bank balance. I didn't want to, but I felt they needed to know why I don't just have money for whatever. They know that I do what I can for them when I can, so it's all good! But they're older kids, not small ones, so I feel that makes a difference.