Friday, January 14, 2011

Blogononymous

I am participating in The Daily Dribbles and Domestically Challenged Blognonymous Blog Hop.  The post below is not my own post.  I'm hosting a post for someone else, and in turn, someone else is also hosting a post of mine, all anonymously.  Click through the links below to view all the bloggers and posts in Blognonymous. Blognonymous is the coolest blog hop I've seen. All the posts are anonymous, and no one knows who's post is on who's blog. I am so excited to be a part of this Blognonymous "extravaganza" *giggle*.

The Daily Dribbles


A Rant 

A rant...  I'm usually good at those. Where's that soap box? You know, the one I'm usually standing on ranting and raving from? I can't find it either.

For some reason, give me the right to be really incredulous and I feel like I'm falling a bit short. Maybe it's just because I'm having such a hard time deciding what to post about. Maybe even though this is somewhat anonymous, I'm afraid someone will be mad. Oh well... here goes anyway.

It rubs me the wrong way that we chose to move closer to family last year. We'll be here for at least two years. While many people have visited, there is still an expectation that we should pack the kids up and go to them. It's hard. It's really, really hard. At one point this year, every weekend for nearly a month we spent on the road. Then we have to decide what we'll do for the dog. Do you rely on the kindness of a friend or spend a huge amount of money on a kennel risking that he'll get kennel cough when all we want to do is bring him with us? How will we get a three-year old to sleep when she doesn't have her cage bed? We're packing up 5 people, soon to be 6 not 2. Sometimes it takes major planning on my part to figure out how I will entertain the littles while we're gone. It's hard. Maybe it would be easier if some appreciation was expressed instead of just letting us know what you expect of us.

If you don't know us, we're in the middle of an international adoption. I love for people to talk to me about it if they're curious. I'll discuss orphan care and adoption all day long. I start to get a little bothered though when someone needs to repeatedly in large groups let me know what a poor decision I've made. I've been told exactly how many things can go wrong by the same person over and over. We're well informed. We're a little bit scared. We're stepping out in faith. How about a little encouragement instead of all doom and gloom? I promise I've heard every horror story by now. Telling me another one, with that little hint of I'm going to say "I told you so," one day just really ticks me off.

I was putting it all out there on my blog for a while. I stopped. I was told by someone close to me (not Miss Doom and Gloom), who I really hope doesn't find this because I never want to have that conversation again, that I'm neglecting the children I have for the one who isn't here. Really? Because I got upset that it's taking so much longer than it takes other people? How come when someone who is pregnant starts planning a nursery no one says, "I really think you're neglecting the child you have because you're frustrated over color schemes." I'm frustrated that I let that stop me from saying what I wanted to say.

While I'm getting the adoption process off my chest, I'm also a little hurt that people who are very close to us and will be to our child choose to pretend that it's not happening. It makes me wonder what they will be like when he comes home.

Moving on...I hate the pretentiousness of where we live. I probably hate that we put ourselves in this pretentious place a little more. I hate that I jump to conclusions and judge others because of all this. I really don't know how to flesh it out anymore than that.

In conclusion, like my dog... some days when I'm frustrated... I wish I could just piss on it.

Kind of like he pissed on the snowman...





16 comments:

Mary said...

I know people who have adopted internationally and have had wonderful experiences! Only 1 who hasn't and they adopted 2 international children at the same time: only 1 has issues. So, don't listen to what people are saying: they probably have no idea what they're talking about! Good luck with the adoption!

SuperMom Blues said...

My cousin adopted her oldest from Russia. It is such a challenging process, but SO rewarding!!

Mothers' Hideaway said...

I hate when people put their two cents where their two cents isn't needed! UGH.

Kmama said...

Best of luck with the adoption. It makes me so sad that people aren't being more supportive about it, even if it is just one or two people. I couldn't imagine saying something like that to someone, who is obviously excited about bringing another child into their house, and doing a really good thing.

Kim said...

A baby is a baby is a baby!! Plan that nursery! Haters be gone!

Emmy said...

Yes seriously, if you are adding another kid to your family you plan for it, duh! I hope it goes wonderfully for you.

Amy said...

Very deep post you hosted.. I wish you the best of luck with your adoption. My friend has adopted two children and is waiting for one more. It is so amazing.. Sorry about the family blues. I have to travel to my in laws at times and it is really not bad. We go back and forth. Love the snow man..

Stopping by from the party..

singedwingangel said...

I think people need to mind their business. I don't mind the travel occasionally but when I have to pack up that much stuff then you can come to me..

Emily said...

I'm glad you were able to get this out. It was funny and horrible at the same time. Bless you on adopting a child who needs you. I don't know why I am surprised people say the things they do. It's just ignorance on their part.

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Honestly, sometimes people surprise me in their ignorance on these things. A family is not something made up only of "blood." I am SO glad there are people out there who understand this, and who have it on their heart to add to the "family" they have with these beautiful children.

Angie said...

I can't imagine traveling that much with the kids - and kennels are WAY expensive!!

I've always been interested in adoption - maybe someday. I know in my heart that right now would not be the right time! God bless you for doing it - there are lots of kids out there who need great parents!

Kerri said...

You worry about YOU and YOURS. Piss on everyone else! Seriously!! Best of luck with the adoption.

purseblogger said...

I think it's great you are adopting and those who aren't supportive can stick it. Why would they not be supportive? You are doing a wonderful thing. Remember that.

Shell said...

How hard it would be to hear that from someone who is close to you.

Dysfunctional Mom said...

I just can't understand what makes people think it's okay to say things like that. I'm floored.
I wish you all the best with the adoption.

Oka said...

I so get the people wanting to to travel (even a shorter) distance with 6 than them traveling with 2. So frustrating, especially when their house is much tinier, and filled with things that can't be touched. UGH!

I can't even pretend to imagine the issues involved with adoptions, but family and friends should have a clue and be supportive.