Behavior Charts - Do They Work?

After having a few months of troublesome behavior from my six year old, I decided it was time to make a change.  I found a few web sites, did a little research, and found out about using behavior charts.

So, what IS a behavior chart?

Well, it is a behavior-modification device that uses positive reinforcement to encourage the desired behavior.

At least, that's the professional definition.

I call it a God-send.

It took a while for us to get the hang of it, but with a little effort, practice, and consistancy, they are starting to make a real difference.

Here's how it works:

We have a list of behaviors that we want for Emily to do.  She gets stickers for every behavior she accomplishes for each day of the school week (4 behaviors x 5 days = 20 stickers).  We pick out the treat the week before, and display it all week - "This is what you're 'playing' for!"  Allowing for mess ups and redemption, she is required to get 15 stickers a week for a treat (under $5).  She also gets extra stickers for going above and beyond the call of duty.  For example, if we have a morning where she not only doesn't argue with me, but is absolutely wonderful, obedient, and helpful, she earns an extra sticker.  So far, we have only had one week in which she hasn't earned a treat.  This chart is working wonders for her behavior at home.

Now, school is a different story.  We are still working on that, however. I've come up with a few ideas to encourage her behavior to improve there as well.

Here are some great links to some fantastic sites that offer free behavior charts:

This one offers fill in charts with some of  kids' favorite cartoon characters (we've used Tinkerbell and SpongeBob.)
http://www.freeprintablebehaviorcharts.com/behaviorcharts3-10.htm
This one has a variety of charts for young and older children, and offers a newsletter to help parents learn how to use them consistantly and properly:
http://www.freebehaviorcharts.com/
This offers a "customizer" in which you pick the behaviors you want to encourage, then children can create their own cat character to track their behavior.  BRILLIANT!
http://www.handipoints.com/printable-chart/behavior-chart.html
This site offers several different charts for all kinds of household needs, not just behavior (I use the calendars and several of the home charts)
http://www.chartjungle.com/home.html
I use this site for all sorts of things, from coloring pages, to craft ideas, to bible lesson plans to share with my kids.  It's wonderful!  Their charts are also customizable, but this time you can print them out (my preferred method).
http://www.dltk-cards.com/

Discipline Problems

What do you do with a strong-willed child?  When she knows she's right and the world is wrong and she will not take no for an answer. It's a long, hard road trying to teach a child how to be compliant without breaking her spirit.

I want my daughter to be strong willed as a child.  It means she's going to be a strong willed woman, and no one will be able to walk all over her.  But I want her to learn the importance of being respectful as well.  She needs to understand that being disobedient and disrespectful is never okay.

But what do you do when it affects your personal life.  For example, yesterday I had to miss class because my daughter threw a temper fit in front of her elementary school.  She did NOT want to go to school.  I gave in.  That was where I went wrong.

The key, I think (and the one thing where I fail miserably) is CONSISTENCY.  If only I had done my part as a parent, I believe that the incident yesterday would never have happened.  It wasn't something that just happened, either.  There had been an entire morning building up to that moment.  From refusing to find shoes, to refusing to get into the car, refusing to comply was the theme of the day.  I will not make excuses for her behavior, because regardless of what I did wrong, what she did was ABSOLUTELY inexcusable.  But just knowing that if I had done one thing differently the entire course of the day might have gone differently really makes me think.

I'm reading a book entitled "Your Defiant Child".  I'm hoping it might give me some more insight on Emily's behavior issues and what to do about them. I am also hoping that Ronnie is on board with some of the very interesting changes the book says to do.  I'm not sure about them, but if it works, it may be worth it.

Wish me luck.