Monday, July 18, 2011

Marriage Minded Monday - When You Disagree

This week I got a lesson from God about speaking up when something was bothering me.
I also learned that (as I said on my facebook page) I don't give my husband near enough credit.
I think we all assume that our spouses will respond one way when we tell them we don't agree with them, but when it comes down to it, they may very well respond differently.

Case in point:

I won't go into detail, but there was a project my husband and I have been discussing that was about to come into fruition.
It was going to take a lot of time, energy, and money to do this. 
I have been worried about it - for a VERY long time - but I didn't want to say anything to my husband because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, nor did I want to squelch his dream. 
So when it was right about to happen, I snapped. I turned into a sobbing, blubbering mess. I knew exactly what was bothering me, but I was still so afraid to tell him the truth that I came up with every other thing I could be stressed over - including something that I've never mentioned, ever! EVERYTHING but the problem at hand. 
Finally, I told him. I was so worried that he would be hurt and that he would be angry. But instead, he told me he had the same concerns. 
So we had a long discussion on it and decided - TOGETHER - to put it off for a while until we're in a better place, financially.

As you can see, my assumption was very off course, and as a result ended up in my anxiety and stress. 
He had no idea - how could he? 
I'd never told him!

Your disagreement may come from a different place - you might be in arms over child-rearing, finances, where to live, career choices . . . 
Whatever it is, remember you DO have a voice. 

God tells us in 1 Peter 3:1 to submit to our husbands the way Christ submitted to God. But remember, that even Christ spoke up about his concerns to the Lord in Matthew 26:39 "My Father, if it is possible, let this cup be taken from me . . ." 

Yes, the bible tells us that we SHOULD submit fully to our husbands. And if mine had told me "I understand your concerns, but I really want to do this now rather than later" then we would have and that would have been the end of it. But the fact is, sometimes our husbands are waiting on US to speak up first because they're afraid of the same thing we are.

God's Blessings on you for a wonderful week!
Today I'm linking up with Nan from Mom's The Word for Making Your Home Sing Monday
Go give her a visit and see how YOU can make YOUR home sing today!


Momfever said...

You're so right: if you keep things bottled up, they tend to come out in unpleasant ways!

Thanks for dropping by Momfever.

Anonymous said...

This is so good and so timely for me, Jen! I was reminded recently that we are to be a "helper" to our husband. It was a good reminder that submitting doesn't mean I have to keep my mouth shut. Sometimes, being my husband's helper means I NEED to speak up when I see potholes in the road that he may have missed. I think we women are often so afraid of nagging or complaining that we end up swinging too far the other way. So good. Thanks for this!