Diet Ramblings

Okay so, the diet is going . . . well, not as well as I had hoped. I have a ton of excuses, but none of them are relevent. Fact is, i WANT to eat better. I LOVE to eat well. I feel better, I look better . . . but I don't want to get anyone burned out. That's when "diets" fail. You get burned out eating the same thing over and over again. And that's where we're going to be at, culinarily, b/c that's where we're at, financially. We have enough to get by - our bills are paid, we have clothes on our back and food on our table. But unfortunatly, to eat the way I WANT to eat - mostly organic and vegitarian - well, that's a little out of our price range. We're lucky enough to be on WIC - without it, we'd be in trouble.

Another issue is I keep getting conflicting things from outside sources. Soy milk, for example. One source says to keep it away from children. One says to just keep it away from men. Others say it's good for EVERYONE, and still others say it's not good for ANYONE. So who do I believe? Which source is correct and which one is wrong? Another example is grains vs protien. One source believes high-fiber grains with limited amounts of lean protein is the way to go. Another says that high amounts of lean protein is ideal, and tiny amounts of whole grains are best.

I've done YEARS of research on nutrition. I know what's good and what's bad. I can tell you the top ten "super foods" and why their super. I can give you the lowdown on anti-oxidents and vitamins. I know what I should eat, and what I should give my kids . . . So . . . Maybe I'm worrying TOO much about it . . . Maybe I should just do what I think is best and smile at everyone and say "thanks for the advice" and go about my business . . .

I look every day at what people are feeding their kids. I see myself poisoning my children on a daily basis. Hot dogs, cold cuts, red meat, white bread and rice and pastas, pizza, fried foods. Why do I do this? Is it because it's easier than confrontation with a four-year-old? I try to teach her good eating, but she won't eat the good stuff. I'm lucky if I can get an apple or a carrot down her on occasion - forget about anything green. She won't even eat a potato that's not in french fry form. It's not for lack of trying. i've been giving it too her ALL HER LIFE - she STILL won't eat it. All those "experts" that say it takes 13 tries for a child to like a new food have never met MY child. If I give her the good stuff every meal, she won't eat. I can't stand to starve my child, and essentially that's what I feel like I'd be doing. Of course my parents don't help - giving her chicken nuggets, corn dogs, chips, and mac and cheese at their home. She asked for a salad the other day, and I thought my jaw would drop. Then she got mad b/c I wouldn't put crutons or bacos on it. That's all she wanted. Not the salad. The crutons and bacos.

And then there's my hubby. Bless him, I know for a fact he wants to get as healthy as I do. He will eat whatever I put in front of him. But then, I know what he desires from the kitchen. He likes shrimp. Fried. He likes chicken. Fried. He likes fish. Fried . . . well I can get him to eat roasted or grilled chicken. Dark meat chicken. He doesn't like white meat.

So where does that leave me? I am so tired of looking at myself in the mirror. All I see is fat. I disgust myself. And I refuse to make two meals. So . . . now what?