Why I don't talk politics . . .

Well, my views do not appear to reflect the views of (most) of the people around me. Its sad really, but one of the main reasons I'm voting for McCain is b/c of one issue that I feel very strongly about. Sometimes I am the lone republican in a circle of democratic friends.

I don't like getting into pollitical debate. People disagree, and that's cool. I won't try to push my beliefs on you, so don't try to push yours on me. But as I was watching Obama last night, I couldn't help but wonder "why would anyone vote for this man?". He's cunning, he's wiley, and I detect a note of dishonesty in his eyes. He was making promise after promise . . . promises that he can't possibly keep because it's really not up to him - it's up to the senate and congress. Ronnie turned to me and said "he makes sense". Yes in some ways, he does. But then, he also stands for something that goes against every moral fiber in my entire being.

Those of you that know me know what I am talking about. I might consider voting for him, if he didn't support the sensless murder of innocents. I might consider voting for him if keeping infantcide legal wasn't on his agenda. But he's a democrat. So that won't change. For that reason, neither will my vote.

I'm voting McCain. You may throw stuff now.

It's so quiet around here . . .

Em's first day was today. LOL, she put her backpack up and went right over to the table to start her cutting work. Completely forgot me until I said, "hey, can I have a hug please?" And Jake said, "Ai-yi-yi-yi-da-do?" Which sounded suspiciously like "I-I-I-dat too?"

The silence is almost deafening, b/c he is taking a nap. NICE, but deafening. And I've gotten to do some much-needed cleaning. And reading for class. All I have are computer classes this semester, and I'm STILL doing more reading than in any of my Lit classes!! What gives??

And it begins . . .

Tomorrow the school year officially begins. My first class is at 9:30 am. I am taking three classes this semester - all computer. This is the first semester in my ENTIRE COLLEGIATE CARREER that doesn't entail an English or literature class. It's going to be very strange for me. But I digress. I am looking forward to this semester. It promises to be a great one. A class on networking. A class on database design and matenince. And a class on Java programming. It's going to be a challange. But I am up for it.

Em's first day is Tuesday. Pre-K. One more year until the dreaded Public School Kindergarten rears its ugly head and I have to allow my little bluebird to fly completely on her own. I don't know what I'm going to do when that day comes. Thank God I don't have to think about that . . . Yet. That won't stop me from worrying though. *sigh* - two days is hard enough. Will I survive with five?

So now it's another year, and more learning. In may I graduate from college, and my baby girl graduates from Preschool. A year ahead of growth. I am looking forward to it.

Birth Control Updated.

Well, looks like the pill for me. Apparantly I'm too FAT to have Essure done in office, and would have to do it in the OR, which we can't afford right now. I am very NOT HAPPY about this. I'll have to talk more about this later, as I can't type through the tears . . .

Birth Control . . .

Well, it's time. I thought about the birth control pill - I thought REALLY HARD about the birth control pill, and decided that it wasn't worth the risk. And since NFP is not an option for "Fertile Myrtle" and spouse, we have decided to go with PERMANENT BIRTH CONTROL. Now, I have thought about tubal ligation (getting my tubes tied), and Ronnie has thought about the big "V", but neither of us are really comfortable with either method. But I was willing to go under the laproscope. So, I went to see Dr. Smith (yes, Wendy's Dr. Smith, LOL). She introduced me to something completely different. It's called essure. Basically there's no cutting, laproscopes, pricking, or blood (this is always good). It's actually an interesting procedure for anyone who can stomach watching the video, LOL.

So am I SURE that I don't want anymore kids? Well, yes. Pretty well, anyway. I look at it this way. In five years, if I want another child, we can always adopt. Or we could take one of Wendy's kids - she has plenty . . . (LOL-I am KIDDING Wendy!!).

So there it is. In the open. No more kiddos for Jenni-Jen-Jen . . .

Love is in the Air . . .

Wow, in two days I have learned that both my brothers are in love. Whodathunk? Apparantly brother 1 has already set the date. Brother 2 asked my mom for a ring to propose with (one of hers - how amazingly romantic is THAT??). I met brother 1's love interest yesterday - she is remarkable. I am looking forward to meeting brother 2's girl . . . someday . . .

New blog

Hey guys, in addition to this blog, I will be keeping track with my weight loss in another blog. Here's the link:

http://supermomlosingit.blogspot.com

I would love for everyone to come and join my journey - I need all the support I can get.

Weight Watchers

I signed up for weight watchers online today. It's time. I also ordered our excersize bike today. It's time for THAT too. I am so ready to start this, I can't wait!! I need prayer, y'all. I need the willpower. So does Ronnie. I know we can do it, with each other there . . . *sigh. This WILL work.

Sometimes . . .

I look at my children and wonder "what are they thinking?"

Like when Emily is jumping on the couch afer being told repeatedly that it will fall apart.

Or when Christin puts an empty pitcher in the refrigerator.

Or when Garrett leaves his toys in the girls' room and then proceeds to be upset that Emily was playing with it.

Or when Jake stares at me when I say "no no, Jake" and grins . . .

I love my kids. They are all just like me.

10 years . . .

http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/081208dnmetdorsey.43a6cf8.html

This is a link to an article about a man who impacted my life and the lives of others 10 years ago in Dallas.

He is a brutal madman.
He is a killer and a taker of innocence.
He knows what he has done to dozens, and does not care.

One of the victims they speak of in the article was a dear friend to me. I dated him off and on for years in high school, and even when we weren't together he was one of my very best friends. I mourned for him for several years before getting on with my life, and I have close friends that still have a hard time letting go.

Brad was an amazing person. He had this uncanny ability to make you feel better when you were down. I remember when he passed, my first thought was, "who's going to make me laugh now?".

Leon Dorsey stole that from me. He stole that from a lot of people.

I remember the funeral clearly. Brad's mom was in the front row, she looked numb. When they began to lower his casket into the ground, Aimee (a dear childhood friend) collapesed. They played his favorite music - we all sat together and sang with it.

The thing that impacted me the most then, and still does now, is the fact that the last time Brad and I spoke on the phone, we had an argument. A week later, I called to talk to him, and his girlfriend at the time answered. She wouldn't let me speak to him. Two weeks later, I was devastated.

This brings to mind an interesting thought. If you are not a supporter of the death penalty, you should probably stop reading now.

Leon Dorsey is getting his final judgement. He was an evil man - the article clearly states that through his actions and his own words. He felt no remorse. He didn't kill for money, or for need. He killed for the sheer sick enjoyment of the kill. When he reaches heaven, he will be turned away. He never allowed Christ to touch his heart. I pray that he finds Christ today. That some epiphany washes over him and he realizes the people he hurt were innocent. I pray that he asks for forgiveness for his sins. I pray that he finds the error in his ways and repents. I don't think any of these prayers will be answered.

Does he deserve to die? That's really not my judgement call. The Bible says "an eye for an eye". Well, by that law, God's will is being fulfilled. I am glad he is being executed. That is so horrible for me to say, I know, but if you felt what I felt. If you went throught what the families have gone through . . . I am glad he will never be allowed to hurt another person again. I wish I felt differently. I wish I could say "oh life in prison is enough. That way he can sit and think about it until he dies an old man". But you see, he won't sit and think about it. He truly doesn't care. So for that reason, I am glad.

It's been 10 years coming.

Recipe!!

Okay so you would think that after yesterday's ramblings I would have something really healthful and low-cal. Well, let me tell you - once a month I really really need something sweet and gooey and fattening and yummy. That time frame started yesterday. So, I made cookies!! Yes, I know. They go against everything I spoke about yesterday, but darnit, I am woman! I need sweets when my hormones are raging! So, anyway, I developed this recipe not thinking it would actually work, LOL, but it did. These things are sweet, caramelly, buttery, lacy, thin . . . okay I need one for breakfast now . . .

Supermom's Everything But The Kitchen Sink Cookies

Yeild:

A ton. I made about 20 cookies and only used about 1/3 of the batter, so I'm going to guess around 60 total.

2 sticks softened butter (I actually used Smart Balance's blend that has 50% heart healthy spread and Omega 3's added)
1/2 c white sugar
1 1/2 c brown sugar
3 eggs
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
2 T milk

2 c flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp cinnimon (my secret - shhhhh!)

1 bag simi-sweet chocolate chips
1 bag toffee bits (Heath bar makes some - find them right next to the mini-m&m's and the mini reeses pieces)
1 c walnuts

In a large bowl, cream butter and sugars until well blended. Add eggs and mix until light and fluffy. Add vanilla and milk and blend thoroughly.

In another bowl, whisk or sift together all dry ingredients. (I put them in the bowl and whisk them) Add dry ingredients to your wet ingredients and mix by hand until blended well. Add chocolate, toffee, and nuts. Mix well. BATTER WILL BE SORT OF LOOSE. DON'T FREAK OUT.

Drop by the spoonful (about a T for each cookie) on to a parchment paper lined cookie sheet and bake at 350 until slightly golden on top (about 5-7 minutes). If you find the bottoms burn, drop the heat to 325.

Diet Ramblings

Okay so, the diet is going . . . well, not as well as I had hoped. I have a ton of excuses, but none of them are relevent. Fact is, i WANT to eat better. I LOVE to eat well. I feel better, I look better . . . but I don't want to get anyone burned out. That's when "diets" fail. You get burned out eating the same thing over and over again. And that's where we're going to be at, culinarily, b/c that's where we're at, financially. We have enough to get by - our bills are paid, we have clothes on our back and food on our table. But unfortunatly, to eat the way I WANT to eat - mostly organic and vegitarian - well, that's a little out of our price range. We're lucky enough to be on WIC - without it, we'd be in trouble.

Another issue is I keep getting conflicting things from outside sources. Soy milk, for example. One source says to keep it away from children. One says to just keep it away from men. Others say it's good for EVERYONE, and still others say it's not good for ANYONE. So who do I believe? Which source is correct and which one is wrong? Another example is grains vs protien. One source believes high-fiber grains with limited amounts of lean protein is the way to go. Another says that high amounts of lean protein is ideal, and tiny amounts of whole grains are best.

I've done YEARS of research on nutrition. I know what's good and what's bad. I can tell you the top ten "super foods" and why their super. I can give you the lowdown on anti-oxidents and vitamins. I know what I should eat, and what I should give my kids . . . So . . . Maybe I'm worrying TOO much about it . . . Maybe I should just do what I think is best and smile at everyone and say "thanks for the advice" and go about my business . . .

I look every day at what people are feeding their kids. I see myself poisoning my children on a daily basis. Hot dogs, cold cuts, red meat, white bread and rice and pastas, pizza, fried foods. Why do I do this? Is it because it's easier than confrontation with a four-year-old? I try to teach her good eating, but she won't eat the good stuff. I'm lucky if I can get an apple or a carrot down her on occasion - forget about anything green. She won't even eat a potato that's not in french fry form. It's not for lack of trying. i've been giving it too her ALL HER LIFE - she STILL won't eat it. All those "experts" that say it takes 13 tries for a child to like a new food have never met MY child. If I give her the good stuff every meal, she won't eat. I can't stand to starve my child, and essentially that's what I feel like I'd be doing. Of course my parents don't help - giving her chicken nuggets, corn dogs, chips, and mac and cheese at their home. She asked for a salad the other day, and I thought my jaw would drop. Then she got mad b/c I wouldn't put crutons or bacos on it. That's all she wanted. Not the salad. The crutons and bacos.

And then there's my hubby. Bless him, I know for a fact he wants to get as healthy as I do. He will eat whatever I put in front of him. But then, I know what he desires from the kitchen. He likes shrimp. Fried. He likes chicken. Fried. He likes fish. Fried . . . well I can get him to eat roasted or grilled chicken. Dark meat chicken. He doesn't like white meat.

So where does that leave me? I am so tired of looking at myself in the mirror. All I see is fat. I disgust myself. And I refuse to make two meals. So . . . now what?