I am freaking out over the prospect of my precious little one starting school. I was okay with preschoo, I could walk her to class, hang up her back pack, give her a kiss, give her a reminder, have a brief hello with her teacher, that kind of thing. Kindergarten? Different story. I have to leave my precious bundle at the front door (if even that close) to fend for her self with the possibilties of her getting lost, hurt, beat up, robbed, sad, have an accident, blow up in the middle of the hallway WHATEVER in the midst. Just thinking about it last night made me cry myself to sleep. What am I going to do? I know I can't be there for her ALL the time - she's going to have to learn to fend for herself in that dark, bleek jungle out there that we call the public school system. But it doesn't make it any easier.
See, I have two major fears. One, that my child will follow in her momma's footsteps and be an outcast. Two, that the school will fill my child's head with a whole lot of BS that I can neither fostor nor prevent.
Okay, so the outcast thing. This is why I'm worried.
I watch my child interact with other kids. She always seems to be the one shunned. She will be off playing by herself. "Emmy," I'll ask. "Why aren't you playing with the other kids?" "Because they don't want me to play." "Well did you ask?" "They told me to go away".
This happens every time. In school, at parties, at family functions, in the park. I just want to bawl my eyes out to think about it.
My little girl is the sweetest child on the planet (to other kids, anyway). She wants to play, and doesn't mind doing anything that anyone else wants to do. She just wants to PLAY. She is so beautiful and smart and sweet and I just want to scream to the world "WHY can't you see what I do in my baby??" Jake, I have no fears for Jake. He's a flirt (you should have seen that infant making eyes at his cousin yesterday, LOL). He's a tough kid. He'll be alright. Emily, well, she kinda wears her emotions on her sleeve. If they get stepped on, she'll crumble. We're working on this through Love and Logic Paranting (I'll go into more detail about THAT in another blog . . . after I finally get the book). But it doesn't change my fears. Maybe I'm too overprotective of her . . . but it breaks my heart.
Now, as for the other reason I am afraid of public school, that's another blog. Maybe I'll get to that later in the day. I'll leave you with this thought, though - Atheists rule our school's curriculum. Don't believe me? Read your child's science book when school starts. There is a particular theory that you will see is being taught as fact. The theory of creationism (here's a link for you to read up a bit) is not even being brought up b/c it is a CHRISTIAN CONCEPT. Hmm . . . don't get me started. I have to go make breakfast and a cup of much-needed STRONG coffee. I'll rant about that later.