I went back to "Sink Reflections" last night, and read Marla's take on marriage. Then I read it again, to make sure I really understood the message. The jist of it is (what I get out of it anyway) is that we CAN do it all, we just have to stop thinking that everyone has to do "their fair share". In other words - if it's not getting done, just do it yourself. I need to go back and re-read this message periodically. I'm notorious for using the words "It's not MY mess" and "Well, if they're not going to clean, I'm not . . . ". Of course, I've gotten much better about that over the past few months and realized that I can't EXPECT them to do it. No, it SHOULDN'T all be on my shoulders, but most days if I don't do it, it won't get done.
So, I need to take a deep breath and forget when DH forgets to take the trash out - just pack it up and take it myself. And I need to forgive when DD doesn't clean her room - just grab a trash bag and get after it. The point I'm trying to make is this - if you are a wife and mother, and especially if you are a stay at home mom, more falls on your shoulders. That's just the way it is.
If you want to look at it from a biblical standpoint, Titus 2:4-5 says "Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God." Proverbs 31 speaks of the Noble Wife throughout. Verse 13 says "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands". Proverbs 31:15 "She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls." And verse 17 "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." And 27 "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness." The point I am trying to make here is that we should be looking at it all as a blessing to our families and to God.
It is for God that we wash the dishes. It is for God that we make the beds. It is for God that we vacuum, mop, scrub, wipe, and plan. It is for God that we raise our children. If we go through our days with God in our hearts and minds, then the "details" about who's doing the work (us) is forgotten.